From Type A to Type Ahh

Be the Change You Wish to See in the World – Ghandi


Leave a comment

Prioritizing

keep-calm-and-focus-on-priorities.png

I know I have been MIA on the blog, but that is actually proof that I am making progress toward being less of a perfectionist.  The fact is there have been a lot of things going in my life and I tried to focus on what was really important.

Since I last wrote my husband and I have taken a trip to see our family in California, I have been gone to a conference for work for a week and I came back from 2 weeks across country to start a brand new job as the Division Manager of Customer Service for my utility.  Add to that my best friend is undergoing chemo for colon cancer, my cat Pablo had Radioactive Iodine to treat his hyperthyroidism, the regular family obligations with my mom and aunt, and my volunteer work at Good Mews cat shelter.  What I believe I have finally grasped is maybe you can do everything, but even if you think you are you are not doing them well and you are paying a price.

I did things differently and even though all of that may sound overwhelming, I have not felt overwhelmed.  That has been the most significant example of how much I have changed in the almost two years ago I started this process.  I think there have been two big changes  I have been able to let go of what is no longer important.  For work that meant actually quitting obligations tied to my old job.  I did it compassionately but I also did it completely. In the past transition has been so stressful because guilt or fear of losing out or losing status have kept me with one foot in the new changes and one foot in the past.  This is a tough and stressful line to straddle.  It was so freeing to contact all of my committees and organizations and just simply say I took a promotion and I can no longer do this.  You know what?  Everyone was fine, they were even happy for me and grateful for all I had done.

The other change was me. In this stressful period I now find that I have a calm and clarity I never had before.  I am able to focus on one thing at a time.  More important I am able to admit to myself and others that we may want to get this done and we will in the future but everything has a time and a season and this is not the priority right now so it will have to wait.  I credit meditation with helping to calm my frenetic mind.  I know it has helped me to become a more compassionate and centered person.  As I write this I am at day 699 of meditation.  I owe a debt of gratitude.  Things are settling down so I hope to be back at blogging more regularly.  Hope you have a wonderful day. Namaste.


Leave a comment

Separation of Work and Home

 

bilder-slide-show-1-bild-3

My husband is now off for the summer, one of the perks of being a teacher.   Over the summer he has to read a book about choosing one word to be his guiding principle over the next school year.  It is familiar to me since this has been my approach the last two years.  Choosing one thing and focusing on it and seeing what happens.  The first year my one thing was meditation.  Quite simply just do it, imperfectly, but consistently.  Sit everyday, even if just for a minute or two.  As discussed previously this has had so many reverberations in my life.

That small focus helped me clear clutter physical, mental, and emotional.  It helped me be clearer about my purpose and led me to renewing my commitments to volunteering and vegetarianism.  It helped me try to learn to say no.

This year my word has been presence and it has been more of a struggle than I thought it would be. I do believe I am making progress though it is painfully slow.  It is also revealing some things about myself that I am not thrilled with, but I am trying to accept.  I wonder how many of us really like control and really like feeling that your worth is a little tied up in your status and in being the “go to” person.  That was not a terribly attractive realization for me.  Also simultaneously I noticed that does not make me happy.

In an effort to be more present and battle my arch nemesis, the cellphone, I started doing something to help me separate work and home.  A friend and I were talking and she mentioned a mentor she had that told her something she did to be able to effectively separate from work, and to set a reasonable expectation for those she worked with.  At the end of her day she put her out of office response on her phone and email  It was simple.  It was clear.  I decided I would try that.  I wanted it to be kind of end of day ritual for me as well as providing those trying to reach me with the necessary info they needed.  The message is not long.  It has had an instant impact.  The message is simply says, “I am gone for the day I will return day at 7AM.”  All it does is set a reasonable expectation.  I have left work and all work behind until I return.  I do sometimes find myself checking email.  I also find I am doing this less because I have set the expectation. It is sort of an actual physical act of disconnecting from work.  In our always on society I think this can be very powerful.  I anticipate as I continue this habit I will check my phone less and less once I am home.  This will give me more time to be fully here with my husband, kitties, family, and friends.