Getting your metaphysical ducks in a row is really challenging. I am working hard to align my actions and decisions with my priorities and values. In theory that should be pretty easy, right? In practice there are a whole lot of things that distract us from that. In some instances I am doing well and in others I struggle.
Where am I making progress? I would say I am doing better at making my family a priority over work. I am trying to put my phone up after I get home and cooking and enjoying meals with my husband. I am trying my best to leave work on my new schedule at 3:30 PM so I am not so rushed and feel so much pressure once I get home. I am also trying to be open and accepting of my mother, who needs my help. I have often struggled with Mom. We are very different; we have very different ways of being in the world and different priorities. I am working to put those aside and be there for her without judgement. Thanks meditation! I have used it to help me with this; sometimes even when I am in the car with her to just bring myself and my intention back to a positive, open, place without judgement . Not easy but worth it, I think.
Also since our cats are so much a part of our family I have also tried to prioritize them. I went back to making them a home-made diet and have made an effort to play with them more so they get the physical engagement they need. I have failed up until today to transition them to a more species appropriate feeding schedule that my husband has been asking about. Shifting them from 2 meals a day to 3 smaller meals. Today I agreed and we have begun. It will be an adjustment for them and us. I think in the long run it will be best for them just like making their food is. I have to admit I still struggle with playing with them as much as I should at the end of a long work day.
I have also kept up my promise to volunteer in things I am passionate about. Most Sundays I am at Good Mews, a no-kill cat shelter. I also still volunteer with the Georgia Association of Water Professionals and my husband and I start our fifth season as youth running coaches at his school. That is consistent with my priorities and passions.
Where have I struggled? This blog is one. Writing is a passion and a priority for me, but I am not posting as much as I hoped. I am reevaluating what is realistic, and I hope to consistently post at least weekly. Also minimalism has been a struggle. I did downsize my clothes and I definitely look with a more critical eye but my husband and I run a lot of races and I am still accumulating race t-shirts and shirts from work events. I am definitely not as regimented as I should be about looking at my stuff. I still see area where I should go through old CDs, books, my office desk, our cats’ toys, our file cabinet (maybe he scariest place in our home). I am excited about seeing the Minimalists Less is Now Tour when they are in Atlanta in November. I am brining my husband. Who knows we might both get inspired.
Reading more and watching less TV. I still watch an hour or so a night most nights. Sometimes after working all day, coming home to care for the cats, take care of the house, and cook dinner I am so tired I just want to veg out for a short while before bed. I know I would sleep better and get more out of just reading or sitting quietly. It is a tough some times. Also this is time with my husband most nights.
Saying no to work related tasks that don’t align with my goals, skills, and interests. This is probably the hardest thing for me. I just hate saying no to people and I always think “wait this might be important. If I don’t do it who will?” I need to remember someone always will. Lastly, I am trying to incorporate a little additional exercise beyond my morning run. I have added a day or maybe two of bike riding per week but I am not consistent. I definitely have not pursued strength training or added that into my routine.
For a perfectionist, even one trying to recover, these short comings are hard to accept. I know out of this struggle I get a chance to reevaluate the importance of them and also have an opportunity to grow. I hope you are making progress toward aligning with your priorities and values.