Look Mom…No Thoughts
Today I sat for 30 minutes listening to the ocean. I know you are jealous, right? Don’t be. I was sitting on my sofa in my landlocked living room in Metro Atlanta. I was meditating. In fact today was my 97th day in a row to be meditating. This may seem like no big deal and if you did not know me I would say that is true. If you knew me this feat would be more like starting my blog by saying today I climbed K-2 before breakfast.
In high school I would have been voted the girl least likely to meditate…if that had been a thing in high school in the eighties. It might be now, we give prizes for everything. I am by nature a doer. I do things, not just at the beginning of the day or at work I mean all the time. I do stuff. When I am not doing stuff my mind is always figuring out how to do more stuff. I am on the mental hamster wheel of productivity. In November I found the Insight Timer app and it made meditation sounds so achievable. I had been reading about the benefits of meditation. Of course one of my biggest draws was it could enhance your concentration and increase your focus, as a result your productivity could increase. You had me at “increased focus.” In November I began meditating and I joined the 365 Day Meditation challenge. Leave it to me to make finding inner peace, serenity, and compassion into a challenge. Hey, you have to play to your strengths.
What I was unprepared for was all the other things I found in those daily moments where I sit and actively convince myself to be silent and present with just me. There is clarity in silence. I thought the only path toward understanding was to talk everything to death. Hold over from my years as a debater. I am finding the power of quiet is far more potent than even my very well thought out passionate arguments. Also who knew I liked quiet and even needed it. Today as I sat, letting thoughts come and go without following the usual rabbit hole of accompanying drama I usually succumb to. I pictured me in the ocean not standing against the waves but giving in to them and going with the waves. It was a powerful metaphor for letting go and acceptance. These are not natural for me. Today that was a little unexpected gift. I find these from time to time now that I am mentally and physically quiet enough to hear the whispers.