From Type A to Type Ahh

Be the Change You Wish to See in the World – Ghandi

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img_0594Look Mom…No Thoughts

Today I sat for 30 minutes listening to the ocean.  I know you are jealous, right?  Don’t be.  I was sitting on my sofa in my landlocked living room in Metro Atlanta.  I was meditating.  In fact today was my 97th day in a row to be meditating.  This may seem like no big deal and if you did not know me I would say that is true.  If you knew me this feat would be more like starting my blog by saying today I climbed K-2 before breakfast.

In high school I would have been voted the girl least likely to meditate…if that had been a thing in high school in the eighties.  It might be now, we give prizes for everything.  I am by nature a doer.  I  do things, not just at the beginning of the day or at work I mean all the time.  I do stuff.  When I am not doing stuff my mind is always figuring out how to do more stuff.  I am on the mental hamster wheel of productivity.  In November I found the Insight Timer app and it made meditation sounds so achievable.  I had been reading about the benefits of meditation.  Of course one of my biggest draws was it could enhance your concentration and increase your focus, as a result your productivity could increase.  You had me at “increased focus.”  In November I began meditating and I joined the 365 Day Meditation challenge.  Leave it to me to make finding inner peace, serenity, and compassion into a challenge.  Hey, you have to play to your strengths.

What I was unprepared for was all the other things I found in those daily moments where I sit and actively convince myself to be silent and present with just me.  There is clarity in silence.  I thought the only path toward understanding was to talk everything to death.  Hold over from my years as a debater.  I am finding the power of quiet is far more potent than even my very well thought out passionate arguments.  Also who knew I liked quiet and even needed it.  Today as I sat, letting thoughts come and go without following the usual rabbit hole of accompanying drama I usually succumb to.  I pictured me in the ocean not standing against the waves but giving in to them and going with the waves.  It was a powerful metaphor for letting go and acceptance.  These are not natural for me.  Today that was a little unexpected gift.  I find these from time to time now that I am mentally and physically quiet enough to hear the whispers.